Dream Word – DESIRE
John 20:15 Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" She, supposing Him to be the gardener, said to Him, "Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away." NKJV
It was just yesterday that I was reading for the N’th time ‘My Utmost for His Highest’ by Oswald Chambers. In his opening paragraph he says, “It is possible to know all about doctrine and still not know Jesus. A person’s soul is in grave danger when the knowledge of doctrine surpasses Jesus, avoiding intimate touch with Him. Why was Mary weeping? Doctrine meant no more to her than the grass under her feet. In fact, any Pharisee could have made a fool of Mary doctrinally, but one thing they could never ridicule was the fact that Jesus had cast seven demons out of her; yet His blessings were nothing to her in comparison with knowing Jesus Himself. ‘She turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus….…Jesus said to her ‘Mary!’ Once He called Mary by name, she immediately knew that she had a personal history with the One who spoke, ‘She turned and said to Him, ‘Rabboni!’”
It is possible to know doctrine, thoroughly, absolutely, pinned down and buttoned up tight. It is possible to love doctrine, to defend and justify your particular pet position, to write volumes about it, debate with others concerning it, even, may God help us all, yes even to die for doctrine! All this can be done, indeed has been done, and indeed is being done without knowing Jesus, without having a personal relationship and history with Him.
With my own eyes, I have seen our institutional machines turn out young men in their thousands who know doctrine,but do not know Jesus. My own shoulders have rubbed with those of seeming super magnificent success and I tell you right now, I have sensed a supreme absence of Jesus- His fragrance, His passion, His presence. I have seen Pastors that need seven demons cast out of them! I have seen falls, oh my God, I have seen the falls of the doctrinal grand masters, of the powerful and politically placed pundits of professional Christianity, and seen them come crashing to the ground. I have seen the desolate shells of doctrinal death, lay like empty husks along fine paved yellow brick doctrinal roads, all from the land of Laodicea and all leading nowhere.
Yesterday I prayed with a woman who was bemoaning a distance from Jesus that she felt had come upon her soul. In tender love, she told Him how much she missed His presence, how much she longed for Him. I tell you friend, I was greatly convicted. I must ask myself today and in doing so I must ask you, “How on earth do you cope and even continue in your walk, with the felt absence of His presence?”
If your answer to that question was a doctrinal one that says “According to the Scriptures, Jesus has said, “I will never, no never, no never, leave you nor forsake you” then may I say, I greatly worry for your Laodicean laxidasicalness. At some point you will realize that feelings are most important, feelings are very important, feelings are paramount. Call me a heretic if you will, but I have seen professors attempt suicide, great men, blood bought and distraught, doctrinally correct, disciples of Christ, destroyed in their very being, because Jesus was not a felt manifestation of person with them along the hard road they travelled. In their distress, their beloved doctrine became to them not even as important as the worms in the grass under their heavy feet.
A personal relationship with Jesus so often taught and touted in the big and bombastically brandished, multiplexed screens of our mega-churches must, I say again, MUST BE A LIVING REALITY WITH US ON A MONDAY MORNING. If it is not, then you MUST DOUBT YOUR SALVATION. If doctrine is not translated into the felt and manifest known and loving presence of a living God within our lives then we must doubt our salvation! Better, we have the pain of this deceit and the felt pleasure of discovering Him this side of heaven, than to arrive before God’s throne and hear him say, “Depart from me…..I never knew you.” I fear with all my heart that this most sad refrain shall be spoken to hundreds of thousands of dead, but doctrinally correct folk that have taught and walked the aisles of our lovely Laodicean churches.
Chambers finished his thought yesterday by saying “Do I have a personal history with Jesus Christ? The one true sign of discipleship is intimate oneness with Him – a knowledge of Jesus that nothing can shake.” Well do you? O lover of Jesus, you will forgive me if the eight shot from my blunderbuss has peppered your heart tonight, but I have to ask even myself, “Oh my soul, Oh spirit of Victor Robert Farrell, do you have that kind of a relationship?”
Listen:- By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought him, but I did not find him. "I will rise now," I said, "And go about the city; In the streets and in the squares I will seek the one I love." Song of Solomon 3:1-2
Pray:- Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; O receive my soul at last.
Other refuge have I none, hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.
Wilt Thou not regard my call? Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—Lo! on Thee I cast my care;
Reach me out Thy gracious hand! While I of Thy strength receive,
Hoping against hope I stand, dying, and behold, I live.
Thou, O Christ, art all I want, more than all in Thee I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name, I am all unrighteousness;
False and full of sin I am; Thou art full of truth and grace.
Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; rise to all eternity.