Monday, January 20, 2014

Jan | 20 | Christian Tyromancy


Christian Tyromancy

2 Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. KJV

Tyromancy is a form of divination involving the observation of cheese. No really! You cannot make this stuff up. Well, actually you have to make it up. Indeed, from tea-leaves to cheese, from the liver of pigeons to the lips of some potty pilgrims, a lot of this stuff just has to be made up as you go along.

 So, first you gets your cheese. For me it’s a good blue veined Stilton. Admittedly, some might count the holes in Swiss cheese, you know, their size, shape and number, but for me, it’s the length and thickness of the vein that matters, and of course which direction it points in. Now then, some strange people might at this point introduce nibbling rats into the divination process but these are not for me, and frankly, I have no need for rodent gimmicks, for you see, I have my very own patented and personal ‘smelly-sock-o-meter’, the operation of which is a closely kept family secret. Suffice to say though, that the pungency of the cut smell, always done with a silver knife manufactured in Sheffield, of course, is indicative of the strength of the answer I might receive from the divination of said Stilton.

 I wonder if ‘fleeces’ or the multitude of desperate open social media questions and the various flitting backwards and forwards of butterfly Christians from one charismatic conference to another in search of answers to their questions, might just be signs of ignorance, or laziness; disobedience and even unbelief. I think it might be and you know, this is hole-iness of the worst of kinds, for cheese-head Christians have a head full of holes, hearts damaged by lack of exercise and too much fat, and they smell a bit funky to boot. Look now, there just is no substitute for the prayerful study of the Word of God and the Godly counsel of other Word and Holy Spirit filled folks. THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE.

Maybe it is time for YOU to take full responsibility for your own spiritual growth and to stop indulging in all that terrible Christian Tyromancy so prevalent among us today. Maybe it is time to stop being a cheesy Christian and to start choosing to ‘EAT THAT BOOK!’ 

If you want to stop being a *cheese head; then maybe we can help you? Go to :

Meanwhile, for those not interested in eating and studying the Word of God, I found a website giving the following breakfast opportunity. Enjoy!

Camembert Divination Toast

 Taking one Camembert Cheese, two slices of Graham or Boston brown bread or crackers and adding a smattering of salt and paprika, remove the crust from a creamy Camembert cheese, spreading the cheese thickly on the slices of bread or crackers. With your right hand held high, using your left hand, dust with salt and paprika and an anti-clockwise direction, and then bake in a quick oven of 375 degrees F., from five to eight minutes depending on how desperate you are, or, until the surface of the cheese is golden brown. Now, placing the toast flat on a white bone china plate, examine the surface from every angle. What do you see? Interesting eh! Hmm. Finally, for the more adventurous among you cheese-heads, if you follow this recipe at night time and then actually follow through and eat the Camembert Divination Toast, then providing you or your spouse can sleep through the annoying little side effects of reflux and a slight smattering of wind, then you will undoubtedly receive a dream. I know. Remarkable!

Listen:- Your words were found, and I ate them, And Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart; For I am called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts. Jeremiah 15:16 NKJV

Pray: -  Father, in all seriousness, please give me a hunger for Your holy word. However, in any event, I still promise to read it and to digest it, invest in it and most of all to obey it. So help me God. Amen.

 *In the writing of this Bible Insight, no offence is intended toward anyone from Wisconsin or any misguided follower of any so called sports team in the Green Bay area.

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